What Does Adam Lambert Taste Like?

The fol­low­ing is my inter­pre­ta­tion of Adam Lambert’s performance.

HEY GURLSSS! it me! that guy you saw last night on that generic awards show no one really cares about! you can see me here!

see there I am!

NO im not adam Lam­bert I’m the bromo(brother homo­sex­ual) being shoved into his sweaty leather encased package.

im a dancer? ya a pro­fe­sional dancer and i was doing the clas­sic nadnaw/fakeblowjob move on adam because ya! im a dancer. when­ever peo­ple say i have no self respect. i just point them towards the the han­nah montna backup dancers. they have leashes too and those aren’t for show.

So ya back on the topic of sweaty leather encased pack­ages. Adam wanted to “gay it up” for the blogsphere/gay bloggers/out magazine/glitter/queens in paja­mas on computers/. back­stage while adam was being lath­ered up in  shel­lac and squeezed into his out­fit he came up with the idea to do “gay it up” so like he can be rel­e­vant and not a cor­po­rate pawn. we prac­ticed for a while and in between the mouth­fuls of leather i sug­gest “it would be awe­some if you prac­ticed the singing part of your mus­cial preformance”.

to which he replied. “your a dancer”.

i felt sad? im a dancer? at least i’m not spin­ning leg girl. it was sad to see her hurl. im a poet? no no! i’m a dancer! im a dancer! and im on tv! and i made it to my dream job! my dreams? my face in some ran­dom guys crotch?

do you want to know what it tasted like? … do you want to know what was going through my head? of course you don’t care about me. im a dancer. im no one. im not adam.

i may not know who i am, but when i looked up at adams face i saw a lot of glit­ter. i saw sweat.  i saw a lot shine. i saw a lot of peo­ple. i saw a lot of words.

i saw noth­ing spe­cial. for i am a dancer.

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November 27th, 2009 Reply