This was suppose to be for my schools op-ed editorial. Then I realized I went over the word limit and that no one at my school would get this.
September 15th. The economy is on a never ending spiral of doom. Lehmann Brothers lays in ruin. What does John McCain the Maverick the hope for America say? “The Fundamentals of our economy are still strong”. That’s right they are amazing! Last time I checked McCain himself still had his seven houses, 13 cars and private corporate jet. Oh, while you’re at it make sure you remind McCain how many houses he has he loses count sometimes. A common mistake made my countless average Americans. Even if there was some economic crisis, John can handle it. He made out just fine during the Great Depression. He didn’t have a job or even an elementary education during the whole thing!
John knows that Iraq is doing awesome! So awesome that he thinks we should spend a “100 more years” there. He believes knows with his heart that we must maintain the military occupation for at least another century, while at the same time build multiple military bases. I bet the Iraq people are really excited about getting to hang out with the American soldiers for a hundred more years! I don’t know about you, but if America was invaded by another country I really would try to be a nice host and let the invaders make themselves at home for at least 100 years. Though really we should not just build and maintain bases in Iraq. Since everyone is talking about how strong the fundamentals of the economy are perhaps we should invest in building resorts in sunny Iraq. It’s a great idea not only will people be able to perfect their tan, but they get to meet the troops as well! Oh, and I bet John will also love the idea of invading Iran for its great beach front too!
Enough with all these fluff issues John McCain knows what issue is most important to all us average Americans. Who is more American? Obama or McCain? First McCain has been an American longer than Obama. McCain’s name doesn’t resemble any terrorist names. I also herd that McCain got captured or something in some sort of war. He suffered through enhanced interrogation. I’m surprised he hasn’t mentioned that every time he makes a public appearance. I guess he just doesn’t want to exploit his service to America for political purposes. Obama, he is a secret Muslim according to me. True or not, people are talking about it making it some-what true, thus making him somewhat a secret Muslim.
Overall, America doesn’t need change. We are doing great. Our fundamentals and economy are strong. The entire middle east is going to become the next best vacation spot. Yet still I am kind of bummed. A really sweet President is leaving office. I am going to miss Bush it won’t ever be the same. Oh wait never mind, I forgot I am voting Mccain. Same we can believe in!















One Comment
That is good, sounds like the kind of thing I would write.